And today... My blog is officially open for posting again.
Yes, after almost a year hibernating, I feel like I need a place to write into once again, so this is it, I present to you..

Hm.. Kehidupan saya di ITB menyenangkan, kecuali saat-saat pengumuman nilai ujian. Damn, saat yang nggak enak banget. Sejauh ini nilai saya kelihatannya masih di rata-rata kelas, soalnya ternyata msh ada yang lebih gawat dari saya. Walaupun bukan mereka yang seharusnya saya liat, tapi orang-orang yang punya banyak nilai A. Yeah, those smart-asses.

Kira-kira sebulan setelah masuk ITB, saya mulai disibukkan dengan kegiatan-kegiatan non-akademis seperti kaderisasi subsi di SMA dulu, tapi disini sekarang disebutnya UKM (Unit Kegiatan Mahasiswa) atau biasanya disebut Unit. Waktu pameran unit-unit yang ada banyaaaak banget, saya (seperti biasa) bingung mau masuk yang mana, karena kebanyakan minat dan ingin ikut terlalu banyak unit, kayak Pers Mahasiswa, Teater, Marching Band, Liga Film, U-Green, Paduan Suara, Radio Kampus, Student English Forum, Kesenian Sumatera Utara, Seni Sunda, sampai yang jarang2 saya minatin kayak Basket, Karate, sama Klub Selam. Tapi setelah menimbang dan mengeliminir, saya memutuskan untuk terus ikut prosesnya Marching Band, Liga Film, sama Boulevard (buletin kampus) aja...

Tapi Boulevard cuma ikut dua kali kumpul. -selesai-

Marching Band saya masuki karena dari SD saya punya obsesi bisa main drum. Yaa mungkin bisa tersalurkan lewat mukul-mukul snare drum yang ada di Marching? Lalu saya ikut tes alat, masukin pilihan, dan tadaa.. saya berhasil masuk ke "pasukan" snare drum (buat yang ngga tau, snare itu drum yang suaranya "crek-crek" bukan "dung-dung" dan suaranya paling keras ---> maaf kalo ngga menjelaskan. Huahaha. Anyway, this pic below is the snare drum)









Saya ikut latihan alat, latihan baris-berbaris juga (karena Marching main alat sambil bikin formasi), trus latihan rutin hari Senin-Kamis. Nah saat latihan rutin inilah masalah mulai muncul...

For your info, Liga Film Mahasiswa (LFM), the other unit I involved myself into, has somehow been taking a lot of my time and remaining space of my brain. Ada kumpul sampai jam 8 malem, Pendidikan organisasi, kumpul senang-senang, dan juga Pendidikan Bidang (bidang yang saya ambil adlh Pertunjukan yang fokusnya ke bioskop kampus dan event organizing, bidang lain ada Videografi, Fotografi, dan Kine Klab-klub apresiasi film) yang ada 4 kali.

Sejak awal saya masuk LFM, entah bagaimana saya sudah merasa nyaman dan nyambung sama suasana dan orang-orangnya. Dan semakin lama ikut proses, memang jadi semakin asik... Hehe. Saya merasa ada ikatan batin. Taelah. Pokoknya saya merasa nyaman di LFM. Makanya saat saya merasa perlu membuat prioritas di antara Marching dan LFM, saya memilih LFM. Kenapa bukan Marching? Karena saya ngga merasa punya ikatan batin sama Marching, entah kenapa. Mungkin karena kurang waktu untuk "mendekatkan diri" dengan yang lain, mungkin juga karena hal lain yang belum saya temukan.

Setelah beberapa lama latihan, menjelang bulan puasa pemain-pemain perkusi dikasih tau bahwa setelah Lebaran bakal ada audisi lagi buat milih orang-orang yang akan terus ikut latihan sebagai pemain perkusi atau disebutnya "battery". Kenapa batere? Mungkin karena kelinci Energizer jalan2 sambil mukul drum (itu snare drum lho. - ngga penting). Itu teori saya, karena kakak pelatih saya pun ngga tau kenapa.

Repotnya, setelah pemberitahuan adanya audisi saya malah jadi banyak absen latihan. Entah karena ada tugas-tugas, pr, kuis, ujian, ataau... urusan LFM. Jadilah saya jarang dateng latihan. Dan saya mulai ragu untuk meneruskan proses, karena prioritas saya adalah LFM, yang ternyata ngga bisa "diduain". Selain dikasih tau soal audisi, kita juga dikasi tau bahwa latihan seterusnya akan dimulai pkl 17.00 sampai 20.00. Ooke. Lama juga yahh...

Singkat cerita, audisi dilakukan pada hari Jumat, 18 Nov 2006. Dan hari itu juga diadain pemutaran film Betina yang lagi bikin pemutaran dari kampus ke kampus. Sebagai calon kru Pertunjukan, saya ikutan magang, ikut bantu-bantu kru yang ngurusin pemutaran. Ikut bantu konsumsi, bantu jual tiket, dll dll. Dan pada hari itulah saya memutuskan, bahwa saya ngga bisa lagi ikut Marching Band.


Pfft.


Jadi, saat Betina diputar, saya menonton audisi battery dari jauh, dari depan bioskop kampus. Sambil mengucapkan selamat tinggal dari hati, dan berterima kasih pada pelatih-pelatih saya.

(Jadi melankolis)

Dan sore itu saya mengirim pesan lewat sms ke Kak Krisna, salah satu pelatih saya, meminta maaf karena saya tidak bisa lagi meneruskan proses sebagai calon anggota Marching Band Waditra Ganesha, berterima kasih atas bimbingan para pelatih selama saya ikut latihan. Perasaan tidak enak yang menumpuk-numpuk akhirnya hilang saat Kak Krisna menelepon saya malamnya dan mengatakan bahwa beliau dapat memaklumi dan menerima keputusan saya. Beliau juga bilang terima kasih sudah ikut latihan, dan mendoakan kesuksesan di bidang lain yang saya ikuti.


Saya terharu.
Huhu.

Terima kasih Kak.

Jadi, mulai tanggal 18 November 2006, saya resmi mengundurkan diri dari kaderisasi Marching Band Waditra Ganesha. Sedih sih memang... Tapi itu saya lakukan demi MBWG dan teman-teman saya juga, karena teman-teman lain akan mendapat kesempatan lebih besar untuk terpilih di audisi, karen pesaing mereka berkurang.. Lagipula, lebih baik saya mengundurkan diri sekarang kan daripada nanti tidak pernah ikut latihan?

Jadi sekarang... Saya memutuskan diri untuk aktif di LFM saja...
Dan aktif itu benar-benar ngga ada habisnya, sebagai contoh tadi malam saya baru pulang pukul 23.15 karena makan-makan dulu sama kru dan cakru.... Memang ngga penting, tapi disitulah 'seni'nya LFM... Suasana kerja yang asik banget dan akrab, itu yg bikin saya jatuh hati sama LFM...

Anyway, I will spend an enormous amount of time talking about LFM later...
Cause this is the place where I spend most of my time nowadays, and hopefully much later...
Well not now, cause I've got something else more important to do...
Later then.

Ciao.

Eminem is going to remarry!!!!

Yes, yes.. he IS ready to remarry his ex-wife Kim Mathers.

Published reports have said they plan to marry on Saturday in the gritty Detroit suburb of Warren where they both once lived, just beyond the border of Detroit, 8 Mile Road, used as the title for Eminem's semi-autobiographical 2002 movie.

The Mathers married in 1999 and their divorce, which prompted a custody battle over their young daughter, Hailie Jade Mathers, was finalized in 2001. So after 4 years, they're going back together.. Ah, True Love never dies.. They were actually High School Sweethearts, and i think he just can't get her out of his head, and the fact that Kim is the mother of Hailie, his "reason to be", just adds up his wish to be together..

He has always wanted to have a decent family, to be a great father, a role model for his daughter, and I think this is the first right step to make those dreams about family come true.. He actually wrote some awful songs about Kim, like the song "Kim" in his album The Marshall Mathers LP and "Puke" (a disgusting song, really) in Encore, but as always, I do think that those were written by Slim Shady, not Marshall Mathers himself..

Another gossip was loud that Em's retiring and wishes to stop his career as a rapper, but Thank God, he denied it. I'm sure that people all around the world was just like, "Ahh.... Thought So.." hahaha, it's relieving, really.. can't think of the music industry without him! But he did make a confession to public, suggested he could take a break from recording and performing.

"I'm at a point in my life right now where I feel like I don't know where my career is going right now," he told Detroit radio station WKQI-FM last month in the only interview he granted to promote the album. Talking about exclusivism... hehe..

L.O.V.E. U Em!!!!!

"Selamat Idul Fitri 1426 H
Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Batin"

Lebaran neeeh! hehehe... mohon maaf ya teman2 sayang, atas semua dosa dan kesalahan gw yang banyaaak itu.. maklumlah...
Karena sesungguhnya segala di dunia adalah sementara, kecuali perubahan dan dosa manusia...

hmm lebaran gw standar2 aja, gak ada yg spesial dan aneh2,, dari malem takbiran gw sekeluarga ke ciawi, ke tempat majelis ta'lim kluarga gw, trus nginep disana, dan salat ied disana juga.. abis ituu yaaa keliling jakarta, pertama ke cipinang deket otista (ngelewatin bukit duri tanjakan. damn. will i ever got anywhere far away from that place?? it's Idul Fitri, for heaven's sake.), abis itu ke bekasi, ke 3 rumah gitu de. rumah yg terakhir, yg di kompleks taman galaxi, emang rumah yg selalu paling lama dikunjungin, tapi sayangnya gw cuma disitu sekitar dua jam, karna ortu gw udah capek gt.. :(

di rumah terakhir itu, tebak gw ngapain? nonton South Park the Movie.

apa?

iya, South Park.

Kan nyampah?

Emang.

Huahahaha.... tapi tu film kocak banget, gw ngakak2 nontonnya.. dvd-nya punya sodara gw, dan sodara gw yg satu itu emang selalu punya yg 'aneh2' buat ditunjukin, hehe. pokoknya pasti seru deh kalo kesana, walaupun cuma nonton tv tapi bawaannya seru aja, heheh.

gw gak inget judul filmnya apa, tapi yg jelas tentang pengaruh sebuah film dengan tokoh Terrence dan Phillip (T&P) yg ANCUUR banget!! (with capital letters) full of swearings and LOW attitude, hahah. ceritanya anak2 kecil tokoh South Park(cartman, kenny, syapa lagi ya?? lupa, tapi ada empat orang kalo gak salah) nonton film yg pemainnya namanya T&P, dan stelah mereka nonton tu film, mereka keluar bioskop dan langsung ngomong dengan bahasa ancur2an gitu... ehehe. kacau beut dey. segala macem kata2 yg baru gw denger dan bahkan gak ada di lagunya eminem (ahaha) muncul dan disebutin ama tu anak2.

masalahnya muncul waktu mereka mulai make kata2 itu di kelas. hahaha dasar bego. trus gurunya (yang juga ancur) ngaduin mereka ke kepsek, trus nyokap2 mereka dipanggil deh. dan sejak itu nyokap2 tau sebab-musababnya adalah si T&P itu, dan mereka lalu mendeklarasikan PERANG sama T&P, dan juga orang-orang Kanada. kenapa? karna T&P itu notabene buatan Kanada. huahahaha... trus tu nyokap2 muncul di tv, dan memicu perang beneran. tu kartun lucuuuu banget..! lo harus nonton sendiri deh, gak lucu kalo diceritain,, lagu2nya parah abis ancur banget, gak ada sensor deh. hehehe. ada Satan, Saddam Husein, Hitler segala, ada Clinton. kocak deh.

lumayan juga, di rumah sodara itu gw nonton satu film itu dan akhirnya pulang. hari ini gw udah gak ke rumah sodara2 lagi, karna emang udah abis.. jadi jalan2 deh tadii... ke mall klapa gading, dan ada Judika Idol! keren banget penampilannya,, that man is one hell of a performer. kalah telak deh si ferry juara afi I itu,, upss.. maaf. hehehe, gak tahan. suaranya gak ada sembernya, bahasa tubuhnya pas, gak lebih gak kurang. dan yg nonton, banyaaak banget! (ya iyalah, idol gitu) sayangnya, gw cuma bisa nonton bentar, padahal td juga ada monita. tp gw gak terlalu antusias sih nonton dia. dunno why, but i think she's ordinary. *peace to all her fans* tadinya gw ama nyokap mau beli roti BreadTalk, tapi gileee ngantrinya kayak orang ngantri konser, 15 meter ada kali. emang susah ya mau beli roti enak. :( gak jadi beli deh, akhirnya pulang dengan membayangkan Fire Floss sama roti coklat yg gw gak peduli apa namanya tapi enak banget. Hix. Pengen.

abis itu pulang, oiya makan brownies buatan tante gw enaak de, heheh. but to my grief, after the long day i'm still feeling all the same; kinda pissed off, disappointed and sad at the very same time. been happening all day. since yesterday, actually. really wanna talk about it right here right now, but considering this is a public-viewed blog, i really should think away from it. AAArgh... damn. damn. damn. hoaaahm,, time really flies, it's gettin late.. think i'm checking out now,, gonna go to bed. Catch ya guys later!!

huaaaaaaahhh..........

makes me curious, what kind of future will i live in? it's killing me.

well, as a final-year high school student i'm suffering this dilemma of not (yet) knowing what would i do in my future life. to be precise, this 'future' starts in a year, considering that i will be a college student next year. and the problem is i haven't decided where to go for the study! i've been wanting to study in FKUI (Med School of the University of Indonesia) for the past two years, since i have this personal desire to work as a social worker or someone who serves the country in the direct way, such as the health business (not that the other kinds of business aren't serving the country, i just meant that doctors or medical workers do their jobs directly to their targets of this suffering country).

but i'm so afraid that my dream will only be a dream.. i'm not the smartest girl in the whole school or even in my class, and i don't have that particular expertise in passing most of the school exams just like my boyfriend has, hahaha in fact i got some exam remedials (that's the way my school curriculum goes: there's a passing grade for all exams and we can do remedials if our grade doesn't pass) at the last exam..

not that i haven't been trying... i studied hard, you know. (here goes the whining) ok stop it! too, i have taken a course for the SPMB preparation, which was called BTA. this course holds three tryouts every semester, and we've done the first one around last September. my grade was 37%,, and FYI the passing grade of FKUI last year was 65%. isn't that pretty close?? hahaha...talking about being sarcastic. but it's only the first tryout!!! i still got about a year to study for that 28% gap, right!? hahaha...

i'm having difficulty in choosing my second option for the SPMB, really. it's like my ONLY option is to become a doctor, but it's punching me in the head thinking that the struggle in studying in that school is really, really hard. my mother's friend's daughter told me mam that her life has become something that sounded like studying-life. she has to study everyday, unless she will be far behind her friends (NO!!!). oh god, can i do that??? i'm not that diligent student that study every night or a study-freak....

WHAT SHOULD I DO?? it's becoming stressful, really.. i'll be writing about this again in no time,, hahaha...

Assalamu'alaikum!!

Hehe.. still remember me? bet u've forgotten that i've got this blog here.... yes, toopanic4you.blogspot.com is back!! with the new layout, new concept, but unfortunately still the same author... :D

hmm... my life have not changed much,, but there's one tiny difference effecting my life hugely now.. well as some of you know i was member of the Student Council in my school, where i got the job as Second Secretary. there were 16 of us working together for my school and the whole school community, and i really enjoyed doing my work! hehe though i almost got no leisure time for myself, remembering that i also got my 'obligations' as a student. =(

but our working days has ended, at last... on September 26th we gave our final report of the past year programs to our supervisor PK and DPO, and to my relief, it went so well and we didn't get any big problems,, yay!! :D and two days later on the 28th we gave our seats to our juniors, who will replace us as the members of the Student Council... it was both happy and sad moment,, *sob* we really hope they will do better than us and serve the best for the whole school. Keep the spirit PO XLI!!!

and my life has changed pretty much ever since. i don't have to go to the Council Room every breaktime, and i don't have to write those LETTERS anymore,, hahaha.... but i misssss those tiiiimmeeeee..!!!!! *sob sob* i think i got that syndrome of not having the old habits anymore... hehehe...

but it was one hell of a year!!! PO eXtraLarge,, i loveeeeeeee u guys!!!!! :)))