Menuliskan Apa yang Terlintas di Pikiran

Restoran sunyi. Tak ada suara terdengar kecuali dari jangkrik yang bernyanyi dan hewan malam yang bercakap-cakap dengan bahasa tubuh dan sinar mata yang memantulkan cahaya bulan. Tak ada suara manusia, bahkan dari dua orang yang duduk bersama di sana.

Maya dan Praha menempati meja pojok. Sudah dua puluh menit berlalu sejak mereka duduk dalam diam. Kesunyian sungguh mengusik. Kecanggungan meningkahi, membuat keduanya tak sanggup menyatakan apapun yang terlintas di pikiran. Bahkan untuk bernapas pun mereka ragu, sehingga tiap tarikan napas diatur sedemikian rupa agar tidak menimbulkan suara.

Maya bergidik. Udara telah terlalu dingin. Praha menatap lembut wanita di depannya. Menuntaskan kesunyian.

"Mau pulang?"

Maya diam.

Aku tidak mau pulang. Karena pulang berarti berpisah dengan kamu. Karena aku tidak tahu kapan bisa bertemu kamu lagi seperti saat ini. Saat aku bisa dekat dengan kamu. Meskipun diam. Meskipun aku dan kamu sama-sama tak tahu apa-apa.

Maya diam. Lalu meraih dompet untuk membayar makanannya.

Pencarian

"Hari ini hari kelima aku mengelilingi kota."

"Untuk apa?"

"Aku mencari seseorang yang bisa membantu."

"Aku bisa membantu."

"Tidak. Kau tak bisa."

"Katakan saja."

"Kau akan tertawa."

...

"Aku mencari penerjemah."

"Aku bisa semua bahasa di dunia!"

"Tapi ini berbeda. Aku mencari penerjemah bahasa tatapan mata."



Andai saja tatapan mata bisa benar-benar berkata-kata.
Pasti hari ini dia mengerti segalanya.

Have you ever been in love?

Being in love is just great. Simply wonderful. Adoring someone is overwhelming, like you've found one miracle of the world nobody has ever seen yet. It makes you feel both proud and imperfect, at the same time.
Bright and sunny days enlighten your life, more often than the dark and gloomy ones. Or you make yourself see life that way.

Have you ever felt broken hearted?

It's when your heart got hurt so deep, tears keep dropping and your life seems to have met a dead end. It all went dark, and future looks like an eternal thunderstorm.
You reject all the goodness life has to offer you, look down to every precious thing you have in your life. You keep saying you can't live without him, or her, and keep believing that the person's "the one", and no other person is better.

Or have you ever been in between?

You're happy and adoring all there is about your love, you're grateful for every blessing your love has given to you.
You don't want your love to leave when it feels so great and overwhelming, you are willing to give your love everything you possess.

But at the same time you know that it's not gonna work out the way you want it to be. It will not go as well as you wish. There's much to give out and much to take in, and as time goes by you know you will be hurt more and more.

It's really, really hard to let the things you love go, you will sacrifice yourself to protect your love from 'evaluators', and ended up feeling devastated when it all seems useless.

They say you should look back and evaluate what you've accomplished in life every once in a while. When I do that, I see myself caught between two situations, between giving up and trapped really deep.

Love is about giving and taking.
Love is about giving attention, about caring more about people. It is about sacrificing.
But I've never got into this situation, and having to face the fact that love is also about surrendering and understanding certain circumstances which are not made to be understood, it just need to be accepted, tolerated.

Life opened my eyes today. I've just realized that love is indeed complicated.
Of course people say so now and then, but this day I just understood what it really means.

It's only love, and that is all.
Why should I feel the way I do?
It's only love, and that is all.
But it's so hard.
Loving you, yes it's so hard.
Loving you, loving you..

- It's Only Love - The Beatles