Have you ever been in love?

Being in love is just great. Simply wonderful. Adoring someone is overwhelming, like you've found one miracle of the world nobody has ever seen yet. It makes you feel both proud and imperfect, at the same time.
Bright and sunny days enlighten your life, more often than the dark and gloomy ones. Or you make yourself see life that way.

Have you ever felt broken hearted?

It's when your heart got hurt so deep, tears keep dropping and your life seems to have met a dead end. It all went dark, and future looks like an eternal thunderstorm.
You reject all the goodness life has to offer you, look down to every precious thing you have in your life. You keep saying you can't live without him, or her, and keep believing that the person's "the one", and no other person is better.

Or have you ever been in between?

You're happy and adoring all there is about your love, you're grateful for every blessing your love has given to you.
You don't want your love to leave when it feels so great and overwhelming, you are willing to give your love everything you possess.

But at the same time you know that it's not gonna work out the way you want it to be. It will not go as well as you wish. There's much to give out and much to take in, and as time goes by you know you will be hurt more and more.

It's really, really hard to let the things you love go, you will sacrifice yourself to protect your love from 'evaluators', and ended up feeling devastated when it all seems useless.

They say you should look back and evaluate what you've accomplished in life every once in a while. When I do that, I see myself caught between two situations, between giving up and trapped really deep.

Love is about giving and taking.
Love is about giving attention, about caring more about people. It is about sacrificing.
But I've never got into this situation, and having to face the fact that love is also about surrendering and understanding certain circumstances which are not made to be understood, it just need to be accepted, tolerated.

Life opened my eyes today. I've just realized that love is indeed complicated.
Of course people say so now and then, but this day I just understood what it really means.

It's only love, and that is all.
Why should I feel the way I do?
It's only love, and that is all.
But it's so hard.
Loving you, yes it's so hard.
Loving you, loving you..

- It's Only Love - The Beatles

Listening to: Keane - Sunshine
Feeling: Sleepy
In the mood for: Eating fried rice n chicken served on the table
Adoring: "Kunjungan Cinta"

I FINALLY WATCHED "KUNJUNGAN CINTA"!!!

Sorry, Alien.... :D

Ceritanya begini..
(SPOILER ALERT! Tapi pentasnya juga selesai hari ini sih, jadi ngga akan bisa nonton juga)

Ada sebuah kota yang bernama Kota Goela, kota super miskin, padahal memiliki tambang emas yang pernah bikin penduduknya kaya, tapi lalu tambangnya berhenti beroperasi dan membuat mereka kehilangan sumber keuangan.

Suatu hari penduduk Goela gembira sekali mempersiapkan penyambutan kedatangan Clara Zakanasian, seorang wanita super kaya yang dulunya penduduk kota Goela juga. Mereka berharap Clara mau membantu kota kelahirannya kembali makmur, mengharapkan dana sumbangan.

Harapan mereka ternyata terkabul. Clara menawarkan uang 1 trilyun Rupiah untuk Kota Goela; 500 milyar untuk kota dan sisanya dibagi-bagi ke penduduknya. Kontan penduduk Goela geger, sangat gembira. Namun Clara memberikan satu syarat: uang 1 trilyun itu harus ditukar dengan nyawa seorang tokoh masyarakat, Ilhat Alipredi.

Mulailah dilema dan ironisme melanda kota ini. Semua penduduk sepakat tidak mau menerima hibah itu, demi menghormati dan menyelamatkan Ilhat. Namun dari hari ke hari penampilan mereka semua semakin rapi dan mahal, gaya hidup mereka menjadi mewah dan kebiasaan berhutang barang-barang mahal menjadi umum. Secara implisit digambarkan sikap mereka yang dualis, berlaku sopan dan suportif di hadapan Ilhat namun menerima kebaikan hati Clara Zakanasian yang notabene ingin membunuh Ilhat karena dendam pribadinya 45 tahun yang lalu.

Kebenaran pun diungkap. Clara mengaku membeli tambang emas Goela dan menghentikan operasinya, membeli semua properti dan lahan Goela untuk dirinya, dan dengan sengaja menjerumuskan Goela ke dalam kemiskinan. Semua karena dendam Clara pada Ilhat yang menolak bertanggung jawab atas anak yang dikandungnya.

Akhir cerita, Ilhat mati dibunuh beramai-ramai sama petinggi-petinggi kota.
Tapi dokter kota menyatakan karena serangan jantung.

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Moral of the story : Money talks. Humanism is rubbish, if compared to a bundle of paycheck.

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Now, please allow me to give some amateur review and assessment, based only and only on my personal view.

Secara umum, gw suka banget sama dramanya... Gw puas nontonnya...
Secara keseluruhan, produksinya bagus.

Akting Butet Kartaredjasa keren, I'll give him an A. Ekspresinya pas, ngga berlebihan dan ngga kekurangan. Natural, but at the same time dramatic. He really blends into the character.

Akting Ratna Riantiarno juga bagus, tapi jujur menurut gw agak kalah sama Butet. Tapi dia bisa munculin karakter Clara dengan cukup bagus... I'll praise her with an A--.

Oiya, gw cerita kan ada guru SMP gw yang main di drama ini? Ternyata perannya gede juga lho. Dan mainnya bagus juga. Pelatih teater gw tuh dulu, hahahaha. Beliau main jadi guru yang awalnya menentang penerimaan hibah Clara (secara jujur dan tulus, bukan kayak orang-orang lain yang ngomongnya nolak tapi diem-diem seneng) dan mendorong Ilhat supaya melawan konspirasi ini, tapi akhirnya kalah dan menyerah pada kapitalisme. Beliau akhirnya mendukung juga pembunuhan Ilhat, sementara Ilhatpun tak bisa berkutik dan pasrah. It was fun watching Pak Tono JW playing and enjoying what he says as his second wife (quoting Nirmala magazine who once interviewed him)... Aktingnya bagus Pak, salut.

Yang bikin gw kagum tuh orang yang mainin tokoh reporter beraksen Belanda, lucu abis. Lucu tapi ngga berlebihan, dan aksen suaranya lucu banget. Kalo ngomong huruf J tuh bunyinya "sha" jadi kalo ngomong "baju" kedengarannya "bashu". Bawel abis, pecicilan, tapi ngga berlebihan. Lucu banget.

Gw juga suka banget sama peran 5 orang berbaju hitam dan bermuka putih+bibir item (kayak orang pantomim gitu) yang peran dan tugasnya memvisualisasikan perasaan tokoh-tokoh di suatu adegan sama jadi benda-benda mati. Dan peran mereka asik banget. Pernah jadi pohon, jadi penduduk biasa, dan jadi orang-orang tambahan yang memvisualisasikan tadi. Memvisualisasi disini tuh menggerakkan badan mereka untuk menggambarkan sesuatu. Misalnya, mereka nunduk waktu adegan dan percakapan sedih, ganti posisi saat irama adegan berubah, atau bergoyang ke kiri-kanan waktu adegan mengharukan. Bagus banget menurut gw, dan peran itu menantang bagi gw.

Dan ada satu lagi yang gw kagumin dari Kunjungan Cinta ini, yaitu penataan artistik dan dekor panggungnya. Kereeeen banget. Gw mupeng (muka pengen) abis. Ada tataan toko kelontongnya Pak Ilhat, namanya "Toko Kelontong Alipredi". Detail banget bikinnya, ada segala macem disitu, dan tokonya sendiri bagus. Keren deh. Perfect. Kostumnya tokoh-tokoh juga bagus-bagus... Kerja penata kostumnya bagus (songong abis gw). Oiya, kostumnya Clara Zakanasian ada desainernya sendiri lho. Hehehe...

Satu kekurangan dari drama ini menurut gw adalah satu adegan paduan suara di akhir cerita. Jadi waktu hari penghormatan terakhir Ilhat di latar ada paduan suara gitu, make baju warna-warni dan ngegambarin dualismenya orang-orang Goela. Orang-orang yang datang ke penghormatan itu ngelempar bunga di depan peti matinya, tapi setelah itu memberi hormat ke Clara. Petinggi-petinggi atau tokoh Goela ngangguk-ngangguk sama-sama, seragam. Haha. Ironis. Dan sepanjang adegan itu ada paduan suara nyanyi-nyanyi, yang menurut gw lebih baik ngga ada... Terlalu 'gempita', terlalu heboh. Dan lirik lagunya juga ngga kedengeran jelas... So what's the point? Lebih bagus mungkin kalo adegan penutup itu dilatari musik dan lagunya aja, ngga usah ada paduan suara yang nari-nari. Kayak High School Musical ajah.

Tapi yang pasti, gw terkesan dan kagum banget sama Kunjungan Cinta. Setelah nonton, gw jadi semangat main teater lagi... Sejak SD gw udah ikut ekskul Drama/Teater, dan ngga pernah bosen. Di ITB ini pun gw tadinya pengen ikut Unit STEMA (Studi Teater Mahasiswa), pengen banget, tapi gw kecewa berat waktu ngeliat stand-nya kosong dan ngga ada dekornya sama sekali. Udah gw tungguin beberapa lama (ya gw kan ngga bisa disitu terus), tapi ngga ada orang muncul juga. Ya udah. Ngga ada juga temen-temen gw yg ikutan STEMA, jadi gw ngga dapet info ttg unit ini. Yah, pasrah deh. Mungkin taun depan gw ikut.

Tapi sejujurnya, gw lebih kepengen ikut teater-teater "beneran" yg non-kampus, kayak si Teater Koma ini. Pengen nyari di Bandung. Dulu ikutan teater ini jadi salah satu pertimbangan gw untuk ngga kuliah di luar Jakarta lho... Segitu pengennya gw... Tapi setelah itu gw mutusin untuk kuliah di Bandung, dan jadinya ngga mikirin Teater Koma, dan mikir-mikir untuk nyari komunitas teater di Bandung. Di Bandung ada panggung pertunjukan ngga sih? Masa di Sabuga?

Gw butuh penyaluran hobi, nih... Kangen banget maen drama lagi...

Anyway, I love Teater Koma... I love "Kunjungan Cinta"...
And you guys who didn't have the chance to watch the play, be sure to watch the next play performed by these talented people...

..
Listening to: These songs sung by American Idol Early Contestants
Feeling: Surprised... Worried...
In the mood for: Watching the "Kunjungan Cinta" play by Teater Koma
Adoring: Myself. Haha.

Gw lagi nonton American Idol (AI) sambil nulis ini. Sekarang mereka lagi ngeaudisi di Seattle, dan orang-orang yang ikutan audisi ini bener-bener menakjubkan.

Tiap kali nonton acara ini, gw bertanya-tanya:
"Orang-orang yang nyanyinya kacau ini sadar ngga sih kayak apa suara mereka?"

Kalo dari yang gw liat dari muka mereka sih, ngga. Mereka bener-bener nganggep diri mereka berbakat dan bagus. Padahal engga. Bener-bener ngga. Kecuali kalo orang-orang yang kupingnya sumbang yang dengerin mereka nyanyi. Sayangnya, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, dan 80% penonton AI kupingnya normal.

I mean, they ARE that pathetic.

Masa ngga ada yang ngasi tau mereka sih bahwa mereka ngga bisa nyanyi...??? Parah banget. Sebenernya orang-orang yang paling bersalah ya orang-orang yang seharusnya menyadarkan bahwa mereka ngga bagus itu, karena mereka jadi dipermalukan oleh 3 orang juri itu di hadapan Seluruh dunia.

OH TUHAN. Orang ini nyanyi "Bohemian Rhapsody"-nya QUEEN dengan suara falseto GAGAL, tanpa ekspresi pula. GOD.

Somebody please tell him the truth!!! Well, truth does hurt, what can I say?

And please... Don't sing this masterpiece... >:(

Oh iya... Ada yang berminat nonton "Kunjungan Cinta" ngga? Ini pentas dramanya Teater Koma... Setelah gw baca iklannya, di daftar pemain ada nama Supartono JW, yaitu... Guru Bahasa Indonesia SMP gw dan pelatih drama gw waktu SMP dulu. Nice, nice, nice... Makin kepengen nonton, karena gw lumayan kangen juga sama nih guru... He's my fave Junior High teacher, actually, haha, I bet some of my old friends would be dumbstruck if I told them this...

Semoga aja tiketnya masih ada, soalnya kata nyokap gw tiket Teater Koma tu cepet banget abisnya... Gw mau nelpon ke TIM besok, hope I'll get good news...

Ah! Gw dapet kerjaan liburan ini... And I meant a real job. I've got a job to translate these 10-pages text of cosmetics informations into Bahasa Indonesia... I've just realized that it's not really exciting after all, since all I've got to do is translating these chemical ingredients and what they are capable to do (e.g. "Lactic Acid Ester has a good moisturising effect, exceptional keratolitic activity and is great for blemished and mature complexions.")

Whoa, what IS keratolitic? Ah, never mind, I'm doing it anyway, cause I'm getting paid for it.. Yay!

Listening to: Beegees - How Deep Is Your Love
Feeling: Slightly disappointed
In the mood for: Crying
Adoring: Nobody. No one. Nothing.

I'm a bit sad. Don't know why, but really. I am hurt, deep inside my heart.

Gw sekarang di rumah.. Udah jam segini (10 menit menuju jam 2 pagi) tapi gw belum kepengen tidur... Kenapa yaa? Akhir-akhir ini gw susah tidur, udah kira-kira 2 minggu ini.. Awalnya gw kira karena tegang soal UAS-UAS dan nilai-nilai akhir gw (which is neither horrible nor great, it was just ok and I'm not satisfied about it), tapi sekarang semua nilai udah keluar dan ngga punya beban apa-apa lagi, tinggal menikmati liburan... Kenapa gw masih susah tidur..? Apakah gw insomnia..?

Well... I've not-so-importantly browsed a few about "insomnia", and these are the facts I've gathered, courtesy of Wikipedia.com:

Insomnia is characterized by an inability to sleep and/or to be incapable of remaining asleep for a reasonable period. Insomniacs typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a
time. Both organic and nonorganic insomnia constitute a sleep disorder.

It is often caused by fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs, caffeine or sometimes for no apparent reason.

An overactive mind or physical pain may also be causes.
Finding the underlying cause of insomnia is usually necessary to cure it.

Some of the most common causes are:

..... Bla bla.....

Lack of exercise - Exercise makes people tired/sleepy.

Darn it. Otak gw ngga segitu aktifnya sampe loncat-loncat di trampolin, orang lagi liburan. Gw udah berentiin minum kopi sejak UAS selesai (waktu itu tiap malem minum kopi), gw ngga lagi stres, gw ngga lagi dalam pengobatan apa-apa.

So?

This reliable source helped me conclude that this disease I'm suffering from is merely caused by "no apparent reason". Gyahahahaha...

Yg paling masuk akal adalah... Karena gw ngga pernah olahraga "beneran". Olahraga gw selama liburan ini adalah jalan kaki dari Ganesa ke LFM ("jauh" banget) dan senam mulut karena ketawa mulu, hahaha. Parah emang.

Atau sebenernya gw masih setres tapi ngga nyadar? Padahal beberapa hari ini kerjaan gw nyampah mulu, ngga ngapa-ngapain, paling banter ngedit detail info lagu koleksi mp3 gw (itu udah paling penting)... Sisanya nyampah di LFM, makan-makan bareng, nonton bareng, pulang malem sampe dijutekin bapak penjaga gerbang... Itu ajah.

Jadi kenapa gw ngga bisa tidur?

Mungkin belum direstui aja kali ya...
Hahaha...

Listening to: This lounge music Starbucks is playing
Feeling: OK
In the mood for: That YUMMY Starbucks' Signature Hot Chocolate
Adoring: "That" Man

IT'S HOLIDAAAAYY!!!!
HOLIDAAAAY!!!
HOLIDAAAAY!!!

Ok. Enough. :)

I spent the first week of holiday at Jakarta, no, Depok, actually. Just spending time for unimportant things (e.g. watching TV, getting up late, going to Gramedia and reading one whole book without paying xp) at home and got upset by something 'predictable'...

I watched Babel at Senayan City's XXI the first Monday I got to Jakarta. Went there with those people again; Primo, Dissa, Nyta, PJ, Arya, Ical, and Mole, whom I haven't met for a quite long time. The movie itself wasn't as good as I expected... I'm not going to tell you what the story was about (you can just read it here), I'm just gonna tell you what I think about it. Of course Brad Pitt played well like he (almost) always had and the movie was something, but the story wasn't that good and the whole picture was not that good. I was neither touched by the story or awed by their acts. I simply laughed when the funny scenes was on the screen and silent when the dramatic parts came into action. But at the end of the movie it was all "so-so" and it wasn't memorable. Such a shame, cause I've been waiting for this movie and it was also chosen as the opening movie for this year's Jakarta International Film Festival. But maybe it's just me, just watch it if you're curious.

I'm actually dying to watch 'The Holiday'!!! Yes, the movie which takes Christmas as its background and is supposed to be played DURING that holiday is finally coming to Indonesian theatres. I read the Yahoo! Movies review on this movie, and they say it's not that good, they literally gave it a grade C+. I just fell in love with the movie poster which shows Jude Law and Cameron D at an 'i-love-you' session. Hahaha, yes, that's me... I mean, really, can you not fall in love with this kind of picture?

Jude Law is one of the few English who actually look gorgeous. Well, most of the times. I've seen him at his worse on imdb, a picture of him which actually is part of this movie. Cameron D is also gorgeous on this movie, she's really pretty and neat-looking, and I just hope she'll have that chemistry with Mr. Law.

Hmm... What else? Oh, I've watched Pocong 2, it wasn't bad, really. I was horrified and half-covered through the scary scenes, yes, I'm a coward. I'm not a fan of horror movies, even the local ones. Hahaha. I watched it with my LFM friends, and I sat next to two of my noisy friends who scream loudly during the scary scenes, both on the scary and normal scenes. But it was fun! Lucky me, I'm not the type of prson who goes paranoid after watching scary movie, so even I saw a bolster turned to Pocong I still can sleep holding my bolster. :)

I'm currently writing at Starbucks in Bandung Supermal, with my LFM friends, again. The six of them are playing cards while drinking that top-ranked Signature Hot Chocolate. YUM. I'm ending this right now, and I'm gonna buy that Signature Choc.

Let's enjoy this HOLIDAY!!! :)